First Pick
by Sarabellum93
Summary: I was coming home from a dull day at work when i found a brunette crying in my parking space. I didnt want to deal with his tears, but i couldnt ignore him, so i let him in. After a few months together, i realized that i couldnt live without him. SORIKU


I had just gotten off of work on a Friday afternoon, which meant that my weekend was ready to begin. As a single twenty three year old male living in Twilight Town, I don't have much responsibility other than showing up to work at nine in the morning and staying until five o clock.

"Riku? Are you going to go out with us?" Xion, a subtle yet friendly co-worker asked me. I work in the line of sales, so overall it's a dull job that matches my pathetically dull life, but I consider myself to be a man of simple taste.

"No thanks, maybe next time." I said, as I often do.

"Yeah, that's what you've been saying since you got this job two years ago." Axel, a loud-mouth party lover smirked. He had a point.

"Drinking isn't my thing." I lied. True I love alcohol as much as the next lonely guy, but I hate drinking in public. It always goes down the same way: I tell myself that it'll just be one drink or two, but then five shots later I'm babbling on about my personal life as if anyone cared. By now, I've realized that it's better to just drink myself to sleep on the weekends when I can afford the hangover.

"Whatever you say." Demyx, Axel's best friend shrugged.

"You're missing out." Demyx's boyfriend, Zexion, said. Zexion doesn't come off as a drinker the way that his boyfriend does, but he's so smart that he probably needs a drunk night to recover from all the moments of genius breakthroughs.

"I'll see you all Monday." I remained polite and short, as I try to be.

I drove in my car to my apartment complex, letting another pointless Friday waste away as I went through my expected plans which consisted of nothing more than drinking, watching TV, sleeping off my hangover, and being sober enough to survive Monday. I was about to park when I saw something in my parking spot in the garage of my apartment complex. I braked, put the car in park, and turned on my lights to find a boy sitting on the dirty concrete floor of my parking spot.

I rolled my eyes, not in the mood to deal with some sappy brat as I honked my horn. The boy looked up and when I saw tears in his eyes, I sighed. I couldn't be heartless, although I was tempted. The boy scurried out of my outlines spot and into the lines marking my neighbors empty parking spot as I pulled my car in. Once I turned it off, I got out and stood over the brunette.

"Oy, what are you doing?" I asked, hoping that maybe I'd get lucky and he'd run off scared.

"Nothing." The boy ran his sleeve across his face to wipe off tears. I shook my head; what was I getting myself into?

"What's wrong?" I asked, my tone clear that I wasn't a therapist of any sort.

"I'm fine." The boy stood up and dusted off his school uniform.

"Whatever." I sighed as I walked off, doing my best to keep my eyes straight ahead of me, until guilt forced me to turn around. I saw the brunette staring at me, so my inner adult told me to ask more questions.

"Do you live here?" I asked, having never seen him before in the three years I've lived at this apartment.

"No." The boy looked down at his shoes. His uniform colors were that of a high school I remember playing against when I was on my high school's football team, but that was four years ago.

"Where are you from?" I asked and he shrugged.

"That way, I think." He pointed behind him before he scratched his head.

"You're lost?" I asked and he put a finger to his chin, thinking.

"Does it count if it's on purpose?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Come on, I'll take you home." I got my car keys out of my pocket.

"Huh?" he asked, confused.

"I can't just leave you here if you have no car and no idea where you are. Besides, your parents must be worried." I tried to sound concerned, and I actually was on a more basic level.

"I don't want to go back." He frowned and I looked at him confused.

"Why not?"

"Cause I like it better here."

"You serious?"

"I'm Sora." He stuck out a hand as he ignored my question with a play on words, so I offered him my hand in return.

"Riku."

"Riku? That's a boring name. What about, Ri-"

"No." I cut him off.

"So where are you from?" he asked and I pointed above our heads.

"Here. That's why I'm here. Cause I live here." I said, hating when people ask stupid questions.

"Nice. I'm from Twilight Town Academy." Sora smiled as I looked at him with shock. Twilight Town Academy is a rich private school that accepts only the brightest kids from certain districts, not to mention it's quite a ways away.

"Congratulations, I hear that's a competitive school." I didn't realize how much this kid was capable of.

"Thanks. My parents accept nothing but perfection." Sora sighed and I guessed that it must be hard to go to a school with such high expectations. I was rather smart myself, but to get into TTA was a rare achievement, worthy of any career that a graduate desired afterward.

"Must be rough."

"It is, which is why I ran away." Sora smiled, and once again, I looked at him bewildered.

"You ran away?"

"Kind of. See, I got a B on my last exam and got yelled at me and now I'm grounded. I studied really hard, but a B isn't enough. I figured that since I already got into Twilight Town university, then I shouldn't kill myself over these stupid grades. I mean, I'm still getting A's in class, so why isn't that enough?" Sora asked me and I nodded. He made sense.

"You want your parents to worry?" I asked and Sora looked away.

"They can't worry about me." He said quietly and I got curious.

"Why?" I asked.

"They died." He whispered and I felt like a dick for bringing it up; it sounded like it was recent, the way he slowly uttered the phrase.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want some tea?" I decided it was the least I could do for bringing up such a painful memory.

"Really?" Sora asked me, so I nodded.

"Sure."

I let the kid in my apartment, made him tea, and listened to him chatter on about his classes and how he wants to study business.

"It's not hard, but it's not much fun." I shrugged. After spending just an hour with this high school senior, I could tell that he'd be bored with a job like mine.

"Neither is school." He smiled. I found it odd how often he smiles, even after I made him think about his parents deaths.

"When do you have to be home? The sun is already set and I don't want you in trouble." I said, not wanting to mention how I still planned to get hammered and couldn't do so until I already dropped him off at his house.

"Do I have to?" Sora asked so I sighed.

"You can stay if you want." I decided that if it meant that I had to wait till next week to get wasted, then I could at least get more work done this weekend.

"Really?" Sora asked as if he didn't believe me.

"If you want." I stood up and went to the bathroom. When I came out, Sora was lying down on the couch.

"Thanks Riku. You're a nice guy." Sora smiled so brightly it almost made me sick.

"I'm not that nice." I said simply before I heard him giggle. "What's so amusing?" I asked, hand on hip as he sat up.

"You're funny. I like you." Sora put his fists on his cheeks and looked at me funny.

"Ooookaaay." I raised an eyebrow before I shook off the idea. "Here, I'll give you something to sleep in." I said, not wanting the boy to sleep in his rigid school uniform.

"That's very kind of you." Sora followed me to my bedroom. I gave him a simple white T shirt and basketball shorts.

"They might be a little big." I warned him, ignoring his complement out of embarrassment. I usually try not to think much of complements.

"It's fine." Sora took off his jacket, his button up shirt, and his T shirt, exposing his bare chest. I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth and when I came out I walked in on him in his boxers.

"Sorry." He apologized as he shoved a leg into the shorts, nearly tripping. "Wah!" He screamed as he hopped on a foot and fell on my bed.

"I didn't realize that changing was so difficult." I said dryly as he pulled up the shorts and threw on the shirt.

"It's harder than it looks." Sora straightened himself up and looked down at his body, hidden in the baggy clothes. He's a tiny stick.

"I can see." I raised an eyebrow.

"It's really nice of you to let me stay, I appreciate it."

"You sure you won't get in trouble?" I asked, once again dodging his complement.

"Nah, I'll be fine." Sora shrugged.

"If you insist." I jumped in bed and turned on the TV.

"Do...do you think I can hang out in here until I get sleepy? I want to watch TV too." Sora said so I nodded. I have a TV in the living room too, but I didn't want to kick him out.

"Yeah." I scooted over as he sat up next to me in bed.

"Riku? Tell me about your life." Sora said so casually, so I panicked. I never talk much; the people I've been working with for years hardly know a thing about me other than my name.

"I work as a salesman for Ansem corporations, which sells machines to hospitals for patients with heart problems." I answered honestly.

"Well that's basic information. What about your family? I like hearing about people's families." Sora smiled and I didn't have the heart to say no, especially knowing that his parents were dead.

"Well, my dad left my mom and me when I was little. My mom worked hard to support us, so right after high school I got a job to help her out." I explained and Sora nodded.

"Was it hard, when your dad left?" He asked so easily, so I shrugged.

"Yeah. I was ten and didn't understand much, but once I got a little older I realized what a dick he was and looking back, it's probably best that he left."

"That's good. What's your mom like? Is she nice?"

"She's sweet, and kind. She's warm, like all moms should be." I found myself smiling, which scared me. I hardly ever think about my parents, since it brings up more loneliness in my life, but this boy was making me realize just how important everything in my past is for my future.

"She sounds amazing. Can she cook?"

"She's a wonderful cook, and she loves to sew and she likes to read a lot too." I ended with a frown, thankful that Sora was too busy daydreaming to look at me.

"Does she live far?"

"Yeah, real far." I felt depressed just thinking about it.

"We can go visit her." Sora tried to cheer me up, and I found it funny how he included himself in the trip. Sadly, I just shook my head.

"Don't think that's possible." I said, miserable.

"Why not?" Sora asked so I shared with him the one fact I held back on.

"She died, last year." I coughed.

"Oh Riku." Sora hugged me and I gulped. I had barely known him, yet he was already trying to comfort me. When he told me that his parents died, I offered him tea in pity; yet here he is hugging me and rubbing my back. "It'll be alright Riku. She sounds like she was a strong, amazing human being. I'm sure she raised to be just as strong. You have to stay strong, ok?" Sora asked me and as pathetic as I felt, I teared up. Why? It's been a whole year and I never mourned my mother's death. Not a funeral, not a tear, nothing. There was a small gathering where she was buried, but I didn't have the guts to show up. I'm sure my other 'family' understand, but I didn't know any of them well enough to care about seeing them or talking to them about it. I just moved on and kept working as if she left on vacation and would be back any day now. But hearing Sora talk about her that way, and about me having to be strong…it's like he found my one weakness.

"Kay." I whispered, trying to swallow my tears before they escaped.

"Shh, it's ok to cry." Sora held me tighter as I gulped forcefully, closing my eyes. "Go ahead and cry Riku. Strong people cry all the time." Sora rubbed my back so relaxingly that it almost made me angry.

"I just want to sleep." I cleared my throat and sat up straight, breaking the hug.

"Alright." Sora looked like he was embarrassed, so I laid down and rolled on my side. "Goodnight." Sora said as he got out of the bed and went to the living room, shutting my door quietly as he left. I fell asleep with the TV on, and when I woke up early the next morning, I felt miserable.

First I let some random high schooler in my apartment, and a male no less, which can't look good. Then I let him hold me in my bed as I grieved my mother's death of a year ago! How much worse can I be? I showered and went into the living room, finding myself at a new low. I stood in shock as I watched Sora shiver in his sleep, lying on the couch with no blanket other than his own uniform jacket. I sighed, grabbed some blankets, and threw them on him.

"Thank you." Sora said as I walked away, causing me to pause.

"Sorry I didn't give them to you last night." I felt bad, since it was already morning.

"It's alright. Look, I'm sorry if I made things get too personal." Sora sat up, still clinging to the blankets.

"It's fine." I said, the simple solution to everything.

"Well, I appreciate you talking to me, and letting me stay." Sora smiled again, as always.

"No problem." I said.

"I like hanging out with you." Sora said, as if we'd been friends for years or something.

"We just met." I reminded him.

"I know, but I already feel like I can trust you. You're so easy to talk to."

"I am?" I asked, not at all agreeing with him.

"You're a bit intimidating, but I can tell that you're just scared." Sora shrugged as if he had me all solved out.

"I am not!" I took it offensively.

"We all have fears Riku, no need to get defensive." Sora stood up, walked over to me, and patted my head, even though I'm about five inches taller.

"Whatever." I sighed him off.

"Riku? How long has it been?" Sora asked me and I looked at him confused, not sure what he was referring to.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there are dirty dishes piled up, and laundry as well. The trash can is full of microwave dinners, and all the fruit is rotten."

"So?" I asked, wondering where he was going with all this.

"So how long has it been since you got dumped?" Sora asked me with round curious eyes as I coughed in my surprise of his conclusion.

"Dumped?" I repeated, in denial.

"Yeah. Only a man who was freshly dumped would live in a place like this, no offense." Sora put his hands up quickly.

"How do you know that I'm not just a messy person?" I tried to see if he would buy it.

"Cause your personality conflicts with it all. I'd expect someone with no humor and such a serious face to live in an overly clean atmosphere with complete control and order. That, and there's a bra on the other side of the coffee table with a note that says 'something for you to remember', so I'm assuming that she dumped you and was trying to rub it in." Sora said and I stared at him, mouth agape.

"You're quiet…am I right?" Sora asked and I frowned.

"Yeah." I admitted, ashamed of how pathetic and predictable my shitty life is.

"I'm sorry. Is it too recent to talk about?" Sora asked and I sighed, sitting on the couch that he slept on.

"It was a month and a half ago. I've been letting myself slide further since."

"I'm sorry." Sora sat next to me.

"She said that she found someone else who makes her happy, and that I was just too….boring." I recalled the awful phone call, because she didn't have the decency to tell me in person. "She broke up with me over the phone, had a key to my apartment and came in while I was at work, took her stuff, dumped off mine, and left me that." I pointed to her bra.

"She must have been really pretty." Sora stared at the bra as if he'd never seen one.

"She was…is….whatever." I sighed it away.

"Well, staring at it won't help." Sora patted my back.

"What, do you want it?" I guessed, since he was eyeing it. Sora laughed at me, shaking his head.

"No thanks, I have no need for the likes of that."

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow, not sure what he was hinting at.

"I'm gay." Sora cut right to the point.

"Oh." I nodded. I'm accepting of all life-styles, although I could never imagine myself to be attracted to someone of the same sex.

"Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable." Sora said, so I shook my head.

"No it's totally fine." I didn't want him to feel awkward. "I just thought you were straight cause you were looking at it."

"No, I've just never seen one, not this close." Sora said, so I picked it up off the floor and handed it to him.

"It's just a bra." I said simply.

"Riku, have you had a lot of girlfriends?" Sora asked me so I thought before I shrugged.

"I guess you could say that." I used to get hit on a lot in high school, and at work. I found women to be the company I needed when I felt lonely, but no one ever saw me as the committed type due to my relaxed characteristics, so I often get dumped for 'not caring enough'.

"Have you had sex a lot?" Sora asked me and I cleared my throat.

"I wouldn't consider myself inexperienced." I answered honestly, but it was still a weird question.

"I haven't, but I want to." Sora blushed and I blinked, unsure of what to say or do. "There's this really cute guy at my school, Roxas, who I've loved for years. But he got a girlfriend last week, which is why I didn't study with him and why I got a B on my exam." Sora scrunched his knees to his chest, looking rather sad.

"Do you know him well?"

"We're best friends, practically twins, but he doesn't know I'm gay. I haven't told anyone, except you. I wanted to tell Roxas, and I was going to ask him to go out on a date with me, but the day I worked up the courage, he bragged about getting Namine to date him. I don't know why, but I thought he'd be gay too, and maybe we could be happy together." Sora sounded really shy and sorrowful, so I put a hand on his shoulder.

"I thought Kairi would love me for who I am; turns out I wasn't enough for her." I didn't realize how depressing it sounded till it was too late, but I wanted to cheer him up.

"Why are we never enough? Why am I always second pick?" Sora's eyes watered as I shrugged. I've never been good with this sort of thing. "I wonder all the time why I'm always second best. I just want someone to love me for who I am, and for how I am, boy and all." Sora smiled sheepishly, but it was so touching, that it made me give a faint smile.

"I'm sure you'll find someone." I gave one of those empty promises as Sora nodded.

"Sorry, I don't know why I started getting all emotional." Sora sniffled lightly before he laughed. "I guess it's just been a really weird week for me. But I'm really glad that I met you Riku." Sora said and I nodded.

"Me too." I said, not sure how this brunette felt some connection with me, a stranger, but I wouldn't complain for the company I didn't deserve.

"Riku? Do you think I can come over again, in the future? I like talking with you." Sora asked with a blush so I nodded.

"Ok."

"Really?"

"Sure." I answered calmly.

"Great! Well, I should be heading back before my cousin Leon announces me as being dead." Sora shrugged with a guilty smile, changed out of my clothes and back into his uniform, and waved goodbye.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning, since I felt guilty about the trashed apartment that gave away my dumped ass. After I cleaned, I drove to the liquor store and continued with my weekend plan of getting drunk off my ass. After being reminded about my mom, my ex Kairi, and how lonely I really am, I decided that getting wasted sounded like the best plan.

I was just starting to feel all the vodka I had forced myself to swallow when I heard a knock at my door. I stumbled to my feet, opened it, and hiccupped.

"Sor-hiccup-uh?" I asked

"Are you drunk?" Sora asked, probably smelling the alcohol on my breath as I exhaled.

"A little." I sighed, tired.

"Come on, inside before you hurt yourself." Sora put an arm around my waist and sat me down on the couch. "I forgot my tie and decided that since my uncle doesn't care about me not showing up at home, I might as well come back, if you don't mind." Sora winced, so I shrugged with a drunken smile.

"Not at all." I laid down, ready to sleep the night away.

"Thanks. I brought over my own sleep clothes, and a toothbrush!" Sora changed and sat on the couch, the little free space that I wasn't already occupying, and turned on the TV. I took a small nap as he worked on his weekend homework and watched some TV. When I woke up, he fell asleep too, on me. It was six in the morning and he was using my chest as a pillow. I sighed, not in the mood to wake him up but not wanting to let him sleep on me. I have nothing against him being homosexual, but I don't want to give the kid a false impression. I slid my body out from under his and fell on the floor as he snored lightly on the couch. I sighed as my hangover kicked in and forced me to run to the bathroom in a desperate attempt to puke. The sounds echoed louder than I anticipated, because Sora was quickly in the bathroom holding my long silver hair as I coughed up more alcohol mixed with my microwaved dinner from the night before.

"You shouldn't drink so much." Sora tied my hair in a ponytail as I glared at him.

"I wanted to get drunk." I admitted.

"Why?" Sora asked, sounding really confused.

"I was sad." I confessed before I puked up more.

"I'm sorry if that was my fault." Sora apologized, but I shook my head.

"You helped." I smiled, still a bit loopy.

"Glad to hear it."

Once I finished emptying my stomach, I brushed my teeth and returned to the couch with an ice pack on my head.

"Here you are, two aspirin." Sora handed me the medicine with a glass of water.

"Thanks." I swallowed the medication quickly. The day went by slowly as Sora talked more about his academic life including his homework, and even tried to explain it to me before I complained about my headache.

"Do you think I can stay the night again? You're in no condition to drive, and it's already dark." Sora bit his lip.

"Don't you have school tomorrow?" I asked and Sora winced.

"I'll get up early and walk."

I shook my head. "I'll just drive you on my way to work."

"Thanks Riku!" Sora hugged me and showered before we both went to bed, and this time I gave him blankets.

It's been about three months since I've met the hyper, random, and optimistic brunette, Sora. He's been staying over at my apartment every weekend like clock-work, walking after school, hanging out with me and eating with me, and then I drop him off at school on Monday mornings. During the school week he texts me and occasionally we'll meet up if we're in the same district for a casual dinner or coffee run. His friends seem to know who I am, cause when I stop by the café's that he study's in, they look at me as if they know me. I usually just buy myself a drink, and something decaffeinated for Sora if he doesn't already have something, and then I leave, but there are times when it feels like Sora wants me to stay. I haven't said anything to him, but I don't feel comfortable hanging out with him in café's when he's studying. I mean, he's a student with his fellow students, and I'd just be a big distraction. I had no intention of saying how awkward I'd feel about it until Sora brought it up one weekend.

"Riku, you should stay at the study group on Tuesday." Sora flat out suggested while we were watching TV in the living room one evening.

"I have a business meeting." I lied quick enough to sound believable.

"Wednesday?" Sora asked, so I shook my head. "Why not?" he asked like a little kid would, so I felt bad.

"Look Sora, you're a student, and I don't want to distract you or your friends." I tried to make it sound as sincere and honest as I meant it.

"You're not ashamed of me in public, are you?" Sora asked as if my last sentence went unheard.

"What?" I asked, taken back.

"You never hang out with me in public, and you are quick to leave once you get your coffee. It's like you don't want to be seen with me." Sora rubbed his shoulder like he was hurt.

"No, it's not that."

"I appreciate it when you buy me tea or hot chocolate, but you hardly even say anything to me once our orders are done."

"I've just been busy." I tried to come up with reasonable excuses.

"So it's not because I'm gay?" Sora asked and I quickly shook my head.

"Of course not."

"Good, cause some of my friends figured it out." Sora looked down at his shoes.

"How?" I asked and Sora shrugged.

"They asked if you and I were fighting since you leave soon after buying my drink, and when I got defensive, they said that they all thought that we were dating." Sora didn't look me in the eye as I sighed.

"Great, now they think that I'm gay too." I put a hand to my head.

"Sorry." Sora whispered, making me realize how much harder this must be for him.

"Sora, no, I, I didn't mean it like that. Look, it's fine. Your friends didn't pick on you, did they?" I asked, wanting to be sure that he was safe.

"No, they were all really nice and sweet about it." Sora smiled at me, so I nodded.

"Good."

"Yeah."

It got quiet, and I didn't know what to say or do to fix the silence.

"You should stay though, when you have time." Sora said, but I shook my head.

"They already think that we're dating." I said.

"I told them that we aren't." Sora said quietly, as if he were sad.

"Sora?" I asked, not sure what to think.

"I, I like you Riku." Sora put his arms around his own body.

"You do?" I asked, a bit thick at times.

"Yeah. Since we met, I've wanted to get to know you more and more. I really really like you." Sora smiled.

"I'm flattered." I said, leaving it at that.

"That's it?" Sora asked, so I shrugged.

"I don't know what else you're looking for." I said awkwardly, not sure what he was expecting.

"Well, I don't know, I was hoping that maybe we could continue getting to know each other and stuff. We've been spending weekends together for months, and we've been spending lots of time together, so why not?" Sora asked.

"I don't mind if you still want to hang out." I said, hoping that's what he was hinting at.

"Riku, that's not what I meant. I, I want to date you. You're my first pick." Sora said, looking at me, but I couldn't look at him.

"No." I said quietly and dryly.

"Why not? I've slept in your clothes and I cook and clean for you and we watch TV together on the couch all the time." Sora's voice raised.

"Sora, I said no. It's out of the question." I tried to remain calm.

"C-can I ask why?" Sora asked, his tone much more control.

"Why what?" I asked, not sure what he was asking.

"Why I'm not good enough to be your first pick?" Sora's eyes leaked so I sighed.

"Sora." I pulled him into my arms, rubbing his back as he sniffled.

"I don't understand. You said that you've had sex with lots of girls before, so why should I be any different? Why am I so far out of the question?" Sora sobbed as the guilt set inside me.

"It's not that, it's just," I started, trying to think of a way to make it easier for the poor guy.

"You're just scared Riku. That's it. You were scared when I first met you, and now you're still scared." Sora's voice got all defensive again as I grew impatient.

"I'm not scared!" I fought back.

"Yes you are! You were scared when Kairi dumped you, and now you're scared that if you have gay sex, you'll love it." Sora shouted, his tears gone.

"That is ridiculous! I'm not scared of something so outrageous."

"Then prove it. If you can so easily have anal sex with a girl, then why not with a guy?"

"Who am I even going to have sex with, huh?" I asked, going along with his hypothesis.

Sora shrugged. "I'll let you try it with me." Sora said casually, as if the shouting had never occurred.

"What?"

"I'll let you have sex with me, to see if you like guys." Sora volunteered himself, but I remained suspicious.

"And what happens if we do it and I'm not gay?" I had to ask.

"Then we go back to just being friends." Sora shrugged.

"You're ok with that? You're ok with me using you for sex for experimental purposes?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Sora looked away, then nodded. "Yes." He said calmly and clearly.

"Alright." I shrugged and stood up. I grabbed Sora's wrist, pulled him off the couch, and into my room. I pushed him on my bed on his back and went on all fours over him.

"Riku," Sora panted, probably nervous as I pushed up his shirt and unbuckled his pants.

"Move your hands." I said as he tried to push my hand's away from his zipper.

"Riku, wait." Sora gasped as I took his hands and twisted them above his head. "Ah, ow!" Sora whined, his eyes closing as his mouth opened. I had his wrists twisted, pinched, and pinned above his head with one of mine.

"If we're going to do this, we'll do it my way." I made that clear as he shivered.

"I'm scared." Sora trembled, but I ignored him as I plunged my hand in his boxers. "Riku wait," Sora begged as I squeezed his cock.

"Hard already." I noticed, but I wasn't satisfied yet.

"Riku my arms." Sora wriggled, but I pinched harder.

"Stop moving." I squeezed.

"Ah! Hurts." Sora whined before I felt for his entrance.

"Stop complaining." I ordered.

"Riku no!" Sora pleaded but I shoved a finger in anyway.

"You asked for it, don't be a brat." I grunted as I shoved a second dry finger up his tight ass.

"Hurts." Sora cried out as I fingered him roughly.

"Relax your ass." I said, meaning it figuratively and literally.

"Owwwyyy! I don't want this anymore." Sora sniffled and when I heard his sobs, it's like I woke up from a nightmare. I looked down to see the cute, innocent boy crying with my fingers up his ass and his hands pinned down by my own.

I froze with my fingers in his ass. I let go of his wrists and slowly pulled my fingers out of his hole, watching as he body quivered as he inhaled deeply. His eyes remained closed as he grabbed his stomach, panting as if he were on pain.

"Sora?" I panicked, not sure what to say or do. "Oh Sora," I wrapped my arms around him, holding his limp and unresponsive body. "I'm so sorry." I hugged him tight as he blinked a tear free.

"I want to go home." Sora whispered, so I nodded.

"Ok, I'll get my keys." I sat up, scrambling to wash my hands and get ready. I walked into my living room to get my car keys out of my jacket, but as I fumbled with my nerves, I heard my front door slam. I ran towards it and looked down the hall, watching Sora's backside as he limped inside the elevator. I sighed. Shit. What did I just fuck up? I crawled back in bed, absolutely sickened with myself. It took me hours to fall asleep, but when I woke up, I still felt disgusted. I bought enough alcohol to keep me busy for the rest of the day, and when Monday started, I got busy in my work to distract me. When the next Friday rolled by and Sora still hadn't texted me, I grew concerned. This wasn't like Sora. Usually he texts me at least once a day, no more than two days passing before a new text, so for a whole week to pass with nothing, I knew it was bad.

It was clearly my fault, so after giving Sora a week of space, I decided to text him. I asked him if he was alright, and I told him that I was sorry. No response. Sora is like any other high school teen out there, quick to respond because he can't live without his phone. When three more days passed with no reply, I was becoming even more concerned. I sent another text, begging him to let me apologize to him properly. Did I look desperate? He's only eighteen, and here I am at twenty three! I didn't care, I just wanted him back in my life.

After just two hours, Sora responded, telling me that I could meet him after school for an hour. As pathetic as it may sound, I grew excited and nervous at the idea of seeing him. I straightened up, put on nice clothes, and even straightened my already straight silver hair. When the time came, I drove to Sora's school and waited in my car as he approached the door. He got right in, shut the door, and looked at me.

"Hi." I said like an idiot, too scared to say much else. Having to apologize is never easy.

"Hey." He said, probably waiting for me.

"Look Sora, I'm really so very sorry. I can't believe that I hurt you." I started, but Sora held up a hand.

"I asked you to do it, it was my idea, and I encouraged it. I shouldn't have brought up something if I knew that you weren't comfortable with it."

I shook my head, "I should have stopped sooner."

"It's fine. Do you think that we can just pretend that it never happened?" Sora asked me and I gratefully nodded.

"How've you been?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I'm doing good. How are you doing?"

"I've been doing okay."

"Just ok?"

"I was worried about you." I admitted.

"I need space when I get hurt, but I'm alright. I'm sorry that I came onto you so strongly. I just really like you, and I thought maybe we could be the true company that we needed. But I promise that I won't let how I feel interfere with our friendship." Sora held up his hand as he promised.

I nodded but I couldn't help but wonder how that would work. Is that really something that someone can control? I decided that if Sora could try to make our friendship work, then so could I.

For the next month, Sora came over on Friday's after school, but he never stayed the night. I missed his humor and his company that I used to get for an entire weekend, but I was just happy to see him on Fridays with some minor texting throughout the week. I figured that he probably just wanted more space, and I can't say that I blame him for that. Still, whenever Sora would stay the night, back before I hurt him, he used to stay up late, telling me how happy he was to be able to stay with me. He would smile, talking about how he never wanted to leave, and how I was his best friend. Now, now I feel like the hated divorced-parent who he only visits out of pity or something.

I didn't want him to think that I was forcing him to stay with me, and I didn't want him to come if he didn't want to, but I missed having him over for more than a few hours a week. Could I tell him this without it making it seem like I have feelings for him? I don't want to get his hopes up too high, but I would like to see his usual optimistic side.

It only took another week or two before he snapped back into his normal behavior: laughing and asking ridiculously stupid questions with obvious answers out of his curious nature, with the occasional rants about how much he hates homework. He still wouldn't mention staying the night, and I never asked because I didn't want to push progress. He knows that he's welcomed, so I figured that I could just wait until he's ready.

That time didn't seem anywhere near in sight, so after just one more week, I decided to just risk it by asking him to stay over.

"Hey Sora, it's been a while since you stayed over. We can watch a movie on demand and maybe tomorrow we can,"

"I don't know." Sora looked away, so I decided to go for guilt.

"Please?" I asked, so he nodded.

"Alright." Sora smiled innocently, so I smiled along.

We watched a movie on my TV and ate some popcorn with tea and hot chocolate for a couple hours before Sora got scared of a murder scene and spilled his hit chocolate on the couch.

"Sorry!" Sora was quick to apologize, but it was an accident.

"Don't worry about it." Sora and I worked to clean it up, but the couch was soaked and stained brown.

"I can sleep on the floor." Sora offered once we finished cleaning the couch, but I shook my head.

"Nonsense, you can stay in my room." I offered Sora my bed, but he hesitated.

"I'd feel bad stealing your own bed." Sora frowned.

"We can share it." I shrugged casually, but this time Sora shook his head.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" I asked, afraid to admit that I was actually hurt and scared by his potential reasoning.

"Because, sleeping in the same bed as someone I love but can't have isn't a good mix." Sora blushed shyly, with a slight frown.

"Someone you love?" I didn't mean to say it out loud, but I did.

"Well yeah, I told you." Sora shrugged.

"At the very least, please let me sleep on the floor." I offered, already feeling extremely guilt ridden.

"I can't kick you out of your own bed." Sora said as if the very idea hurt him.

"Well either you kick me onto the floor or we share bed." I stated our only options.

Sora sighed and went in the bed. "Get in."

I smiled as I climbed in, happy to hear that he wasn't mad at me.

"Night." I said, waiting to hear his reply.

"Goodnight." Sora exhaled calmly to prepare himself for sleep. While we laid there side by side, it hit me. He is priceless. He's so optimistic, forgiving, and sincere. He still loves me even though I hurt him. As weird as it feels to admit it, he can be really...cute.

I woke up once in the middle of the night to find his body snuggled up to mine. I couldn't help but smile lightly in the night at the blurry sight of his hands curled to his chin, right up to my chest. I let my hand gently rest on his back, wanting to keep him safe. I couldn't say that I loved him, especially not the way that he meant it; but I do have this sense of protectiveness and care for him that I can't ignore. I don't know what it is, but it's growing by the second. When he shivered, I could feel my smile growing. He just looked so defenseless and vulnerable; too cute for words. This boy has to be in my life, even if it's just as friends. I'm addicted to his presence, to his smile. I'm addicted to his hope.

I woke up around ten to see Sora's head on my chest and his arms around me as I kept one hand in his back and the other behind my head. I woke up with a shock, startled at the weight on my body. I rubbed Sora's back gently and when I did, he jumped up.

"Hey," Sora sat up and wiped his eyes.

"Morning." I sat up with him. "How did you sleep?"

"Great. I'm still tired though." Sora fell back down. I laughed and joined him. "Riku? I have to ask, but please be honest."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Do I have any chance, with you?" Sora asked, looking me in the eye.

I sighed, not sure how to answer that. I knew I had a connection with him, but how far and how serious, I didn't know.

"It's just that, I woke up a couple times in the night, and you were holding me. It just, it felt so right." Sora looked away, and I wanted so badly to see him smile.

"I hated that whole week we went without communicating, and I love it when you stay over. I value your company more than anyone else, and I slept better than ever last night having you at my side." I said honestly, still avoiding a direct answer.

"Riku, that's very sweet, and I'm really thankful to hear that. Does that mean yes or no?" Sora went straight for a yes or no answer and I looked away.

"I'm, I'm not really sure. It's not a 'no' but I don't know if I can say 'yes'." I said shamefully, feeling bad that I was messing with his heart.

"Ok." Sora sat up again. "Thank you for answering me."

"Yeah of course." I sat up again to match him, his wild spikey hair poking my arm.

"Sorry." Sora giggled as he tried to tame down his hair with his hands. I nestled my hand in his hair, teasing him.

"I don't mind." I smiled at him. He smiled back, right before he frowned. "You ok?"

I asked, and he nodded, clearly lying. "Sora, back on the night we met, why did you try to get yourself lost?" I knew he was keeping something from me.

"It wasn't because of my exam. It was because Roxas started dating Namine, and I felt so lonely. I thought maybe I could distract myself, and the second I saw you, I just felt something go off inside me that told me to not give up." Sora shrugged.

"Sora," I whispered his name, hurting from his pain. What is this? I've never had this immense feeling of sympathy that seems to be plaguing me.

"I'm sorry if my feelings for you is ruining things." Sora apologized with such sincere tears in his eyes. I shook my head. How cruel could I be to expect him to hide his feelings, or to lie to me?

"Don't apologize." I put a hand to his cheek.

"I kept telling myself not to love you but it's so hard." Sora sniffled, and I smiled painfully.

"Shh," I put my arms around him.

"I don't want to mess up our friendship. I want to still hang out with you. I like spending the night. I don't want it to end." Sora wiped his eyes as I pulled back.

"Neither do I." I said, feeling this strange hunger in my stomach. I wiped his still flowing tears, loving how soft his cheeks felt. His lips looked swollen from tears, and his eyes were irritated. I wanted to hold him and keep him. I wanted to look at him and have this ownership of his attention. I wanted his eyes on me, his hands in mine, his lips pressed against my own. I gulped before I went in for a kiss, loving the gasp of breath he inhaled through his nose as I shoved my tongue inside his mouth.

We made out passionately, our hands roaming and our lips stuck together. I squeezed his hand in mine, feeling his soft chocolate spikes in my other. Before I knew it, I was shirtless, as was he, and we were making out lying down on my bed.

"Sora," I whispered his name with a husky, yearning voice. I wanted all of him.

"Riku," Sora looked scared, but I knew better this time. I put his hand to my cheek, smiled, and kissed his palm. Sora gulped and nodded as I carefully pulled down his pants and boxers. I fingered him carefully as we continued to kiss. I had lube that I used generously to help stretch him with as little pain as possible.

"You ready?" I asked and he nodded as I entered inside him. I took his virginity as I had sex with a man for the very first time. It didn't take long until he came, which caused the cutest look of embarrassment on his face. I released soon after that, panting as I threw away the condom.

"That was great." I inhaled deeply, catching my breath.

"I'll see you next Friday." Sora stood up slowly, holding his backside with one hand as he reached for his clothes.

"What?" I asked, completely shocked that he would leave the second we finished making love for the first time.

"I'll see you Friday." Sora repeated as he got dressed.

"Why are you leaving?" I felt so hurt, that he would leave right after sex.

"Cause." He said as he walked funny out of my room. I quickly put on some boxers and chased him.

"Sora wait," I reached for his wrist, but he left my apartment. I sighed. At least this time he said he'd be back, so I didn't have to worry, right?

Wrong. That Friday passed, but Sora never showed up. I texted him, but he didn't respond. I waited another two days, texted him again, but still nothing.

I was losing my patience, so I decided that I'd cut the bullshit drama and just call him. When he sent me to voicemail, I cursed at my phone and threw it against the wall. Who does that? Who confesses their love to someone, has sex with them, and then leaves that very next second? It didn't make any sense. Nothing made any sense and I hated it.

That whole next week at work, I was acting even more short than usual.

"How have you been Riku?" Xion asked me but I only grunted.

"Fine."

"You sure? You don't sound fine." Axel said but I rolled my eyes.

"Sounds like you're troubled." Demyx joined in.

"I said I'm fine so I am." I grumbled louder.

"Really? I'd think you'd be even more grumpy than usual considering that Kairi is in town." Axel smirked.

"She what?" I whispered, looking around the conference room like a paranoid freak.

"She flew in last night." Demyx said, so I rushed to finish my work and sped home.

I was about to make another crappy microwave dinner when I heard a knock at my door. I gulped. Kairi used to live with me, so it's no surprise that she'd show up here. With a sigh and an attitude, I opened the door.

"What?" I asked before the door fully opened, my heart lifting when I saw Sora.

"Sorry," Sora turned around but I pulled him inside my apartment. "Whoa!" he gasped as I hugged him.

"I missed you. Idiot! Why didn't you come back like you said?" I grew angry at how happy I was to see him.

"I was scared. I've never had sex before." Sora blushed.

"I know. I'm glad I was your first." I smiled.

"Me too." Sora looked down at his shoes.

"I missed you." I repeated, feeling as if I couldn't say it enough.

"I missed you too Riku." Sora rubbed his arm.

"Sora, why did you run?" I asked, watching as he shrugged.

"I, I wanted to tell you that I loved you, but I didn't want to scare you." Sora said quietly.

"Sora," I put my hands on his thin biceps. "I love you." I kissed him, happy to have him the way he deserves.

When our lips detached, he hugged my tightly.

"I love you too Riku. SO much!" Sora squeezed me as I inhaled his sweet shampoo.

"Sora? Be my first pick?" I asked and he smiled sweetly.

"You mean, I'm not second choice?"

I shook my head. "Never."

"Thank you." Sora blushed sweetly as I kissed his cheek, then his lips, not able to fully satisfy my hunger for his adorableness.

That night as we cuddled in bed, all I could think about was how different my life has become since that one evening I found him in my parking structure. All it took was that one conversation, and here I am months later snuggling with the love of my life. With my first pick.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So I wrote this today while I was bored in class. I know that it goes by really fast and is a quick read, but I honestly don't have the time or effort to elaborate on this like it deserves. I came up with the idea in one class, wrote it in another, and typed it when I finished. So here it is! Lol. I hope it was a pleasant read, considering the little time I spent on it; I'm really trying to limit myself to work on the four main stories that I'm working on right now. Thank you for your patience and understanding!<strong>

**Heart, Sarabellum.**


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